By Saturday evening of our stay at St Luke’s, it was clear that Honey would not be discharged prior to Monday. It is worth noting that Honey has some abandonment issues, so I felt it critical that I stay with him. Also – bear in mind that he kept having seizures whenever I left the hospital…
Anyway, I knew I would need to find someone to stay with T after his weekend visit with his dad (Big T). Ideally, he would be able to stay with Big T, who hasn’t worked in two years because he was laid-off and hasn’t been able to find any job in his field (computer tech) anywhere in the Houston area. (Who’s thinking someone hasn’t made much of an effort to find work?) My assumption was that Big T would be available for his son until Monday morning when I would pick him up and drive him to school. I called on Saturday evening to let Big T know that Honey had been admitted to the hospital and ask if T could stay with him until Monday. Big T told me he would have to check his schedule (Seriously?) and let me know.
Sunday, after church, I called Big T again to check on extending their weekend together and was told that I should make other arrangements for T. (Any jaws hitting the floor yet? They will…) I called friends and found a couple of places he could stay. I called Big T again and asked to speak to T to let him know what was going on. When I informed T of his choices, he asked why he couldn’t just stay at his dad’s place.
I was stumped. I didn’t expect the question and didn’t have a ready answer. The only thing I could think to say in response was, “I don’t know, your dad told me to make other arrangements for you.” T asked me to hold on a minute and yelled, “Dad! Why can’t I stay here?”
I couldn’t have planned it any better. I could almost hear the screech of brakes as Big T started back-pedalling. “I didn’t say that. Your mom said she had other plans for you. Of course you can stay here.”
This is not the first time that Big T has demonstrated certain asshole tendencies –> his anger towards me affects his relationship with T. Although I firmly believe that he absolutely loves T, I can see that love suffers under the shadow of his hatred for me. That is the only reason I can see for inconveniencing me being a better choice than getting an extra night to spend with the most awesome six-year-old ever.
I search out silver linings where I can find them and this dynamic has been a significant grey cloud in T’s relationship with his dad. Looks like the sun is starting to shine through.