Does Anybody Really Care?

Today was kinda’ a freakish day.

Honey is not at his best.

Did you read the post Today from a couple of weeks ago?

The one in which I spoke of the small changes I was seeing in Honey?

The thing is that when he has chemo (carboplatin in particular) he “regains” his cognitive abilities.

This is why (I think) that at our last appointment with DrC at MD Anderson, Blob appeared to be stabilizing.

You see, Honey had gotten carbo just two weeks prior to his MRI and status update. Blob was still under the effects of carbo-poison as it had not yet met its nadir…

Well, it has been coming up on six weeks since he last had chemo.

His platelet count has been on the rise (47, 62, 87) for at least the last two weeks.

He got blood work done again today. I can only guess that his count is somewhere in the neighborhood of 100. We did not get a call scheduling chemo for this afternoon. I wonder if this is because his Red Blood Cell Count is  still low. Honey’s afraid that he has suffered permanent damage to his marrow from the Carbo – seems to make sense. Who knows?

Lately, Honey has been getting upset with me because I am speaking too fast for him. Actually, he says I am pissing him off. This is not the kind of language that he normally uses. I am the potty mouth in this relationship.

I have been having to give him “think time” to process what I say and to put together his responses. My choice of career, my compulsion to work with people who are on the edges of the autistic spectrum, my entire life to this point has guided me to be in the best position to support Honey at this time.  I have been  feeling rather like Owen Meany for this past month or so.

Today, our itinerary included getting Honey’s labs done and then heading to the airport to meet my aunt and uncle for a visit during their 3 hour layover.

Honey was trying to figure out our schedule; what time we were leaving and how long we had before we left. Our conversation went something like this:

H: “What time is it?”

Me: “10:30”

H: “What time are we leaving?”

M: “By 11:15”

H: “What time is it?”

M: “10:30”

H: “How much time do we have before we leave?”

M (staving off tears): “45 minutes, Honey.”

Honey has his BS in Mathematics (you would think it would’ve been English, but he would have had to take a foreign language and that was not on his agenda). He knows how to tell time. He just couldn’t do it today.

SN’s phone was already ringing when I realized that there is nothing to be done today but pray and hope that Honey’s name is being heard in all of the many rooms of our father’s house. Honey is getting an MRI on Monday night. His appointment with DrC and SN is Tuesday morning at 8:00(ish). We will see what they have to say then.

I am feeling weary.

It is late.

Good night, John Boy.

Does Anybody Know What Time It Is?


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