I am just fucking fat.
But thanks so much for your blessings anyway, I think I shall take them and apply them elsewhere.
Now, just to be sure we are all on the same page, I will answer the most frequently asked questions:
1. Yes, I am sure.
2. Because I am experiencing early onset menopause.
3. Yet again, yes, I am sure.
4. Because Honey and I saw a reproductive endocrinologist after my last miscarriage.
5. No, you cannot touch my belly and stop looming over me with your greedy hands reaching for my mid section
6. 130 lbs, I am not too concerned about the number of the scale. My issue is how my clothing fits and looks
7. from size 0/1 Juniors to size 8 woman’s in a blink of an eye
8. 36-29-40 ( Kim Kardasian, eat your heart out)
9. Yeah, thanks. I KNOW that crunches would likely go a long way towards getting rid of the pooch. I think I’ll walk thanks.
10. Yes, I am happy with this new body. It feels like a good and strong vessel in which to house myself for this journey
11. I also quit smoking about 4 months ago – that may contribute to increased appetite and perhaps to weight gain.
12.The worst part is thinking of all the costumes I have amassed over the years that I can no longer wear.
13. Thinking about NEW costumes makes me very happy though…
14. Yeah, no. I really do blame cancer
So, that’s where I stand on this topic as of now. I would like to leave you with one more little pearl of advice regarding this sensitive subject… If you ever are not totally sure if someone you haven’t seen in a while is pregnant or just getting fat, ask them what’s new in their world before you do or say anything else. If they don’t tell you about a pregnancy, trust me, there isn’t one. No matter how much you want to ask, you must resist the urge. Wait til you can talk with/email/text another friend in your grapevine to find out. And for God’s sake, do not tweet the query. Please.
Love you (and cupcakes)