That driving thang.

Okay. I have meant to tell you about the whole driving thang since, like, I dunno, February, maybe?

It is an issue that we have been dealing with since last September.

If you check back to L’hotel St Luc and The Evolution of Blob  you can revisit our fantastic foray into the wonderful world of TIA (localized seizure mimicking stroke related to brain cancer). Honey started getting them in late July/early August and in the beginning,  they were really very scary. The first time we saw a significant seizure, Honey was out with the boys. They couldn’t reach me on the phone and had to call a friend to come take care of them and bring them home.

Honey was going on like it was no big deal – just another stage in the process.

Until he couldn’t go to work because of them. What kept him out of work initially was the fact that he literally could not go because he was admitted to ICU. After that, it was that his shrew of a current wife wouldn’t let him drive to work (the bitch).

Texas state law bans driving for at least six months following any seizure activity. (note: I did not say following “grande mal”  seizures). Honey had regular seizure activity clear up to early November. His most recent seizure (that I am aware of) was in mid-December.

So, Honey had not driven his-own-self anywhere since early September.

He has been far more patient than I could ever imagine being if it were my wings that were clipped.

You know that this story is going somewhere, right?

Well, in the end of March, Honey started making noise about how much more convenient things are going to be for me when he can pick up the boys or drive one of the two to school Wednesday mornings so that I don’t have to be rushed.

I ignored him. Thought if I didn’t engage in the conversation, he might forget….

I wasn’t that lucky.

About two weeks later on the day I was scheduled to go to a seminar for caregivers, Honey decided to tell me that he was going to be taking the boys to the grocery store so G could sell Boy Scout Coupons. Of course he tells me as I am on my way out the door thinking that I would be less likely to go off like a bottle rocket if I were pressed for time. (Dumb ass)

I stayed long enough to bitch about some people’s lack of consideration, grab all of the car keys and make arrangements for someone to drive them to the grocery.

The following week, the topic came up again. Again, I expressed concern {okay, I really probably snapped something along the lines of he could kill himself if he felt the need, but that I wouldn’t let him put anyone else in jeopardy simply because he wants to get his way.  (I have already admitted my bitchiness, I am actually that self-aware.)}

Honey walked out of the room and then turned around, came back and asked if I was REALLY going to try to prevent him from driving EVEN THOUGH his last seizure was six months ago.

I responded, yes, that was exactly what I was telling him. He was not going to be driving until he was in actual remission because we simply don’t know what Blob has in store for him at any given time.

Man,he was pissed with me for a while following this episode….

Well now, life is all about growth and I suppose I have been in a constant state of both evaluation and evolution regarding my relationship with Honey’s cancer.

After his most recent MRI (the third in a row in which Blob has not shown any significant change), I told Honey that if he needed to drive, he could take my car (automatic transmission) but that he absolutely could not take any passengers with him. I told him that I expected him to be honest both with me and himself and admit if he is not in an okay state to be driving.

Later that same day, Honey asked me to run an errand with him as he was feeling unbalanced and didn’t think he would be a safe driver.

Totally admire his honesty, but it doesn’t get much more ironic than that.

So, when I realized Honey wasn’t here when I woke up Sunday morning, I experienced a twinge of concern at the amount of time he had been out. But I’ll tell you what, those Dunkin Doughnuts tasted even better because he used his first excursion out to get them for me.

How thoughtful is that?

Love you (and not having to be the bad guy this time)


2 thoughts on “That driving thang.

  1. geekyg1rl says:

    Hi Jen.
    It’s with great pleasure to award you the Liebester Blog award. It’s something people pass around to recognize good blogs, and I enjoy your entries.
    The acceptance conditions are :

    1. Thank your award presenter on your blog and link back to him/her
    2. Copy and paste the award to your blog
    3. Present the Liebster Award to 5 blogs that you think deserve to be recognised.
    4. Let them know by leaving a comment on their blog.

    (You can find the award on my page, by the way I said nice things about you!)

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